I want to share with you a writing exercise I have used to help me get to the heart of why I do the things I do, and do the right things for the right reasons. I have found that so often, our choices are ruled by fear, guilt, and ‘shoulds,’ and sometimes it is hard to recognise that, because what we are doing is good.
But our actions have so much more power for good, and are a blessing to us rather than a pain, when we act out of love and not fear. This process will help you to discover whether you are doing what your heart truly leads you to do, to weed out those things that are not meant for you, and to find your Love Reason for doing those things that are yours to do. It will help you turn your daily gifts of time and energy and service into true gifts from the heart, given freely and not grudgingly.
First, make a list of your roles and responsibilities, and the things you do regularly. Second, make a list of all the things that you think you ‘should’ be doing.
Journaling Questions – for each item, ask:
- Why do I do this? (For the ‘should’ list – write why ‘Should’ I do this?)
- Is this a fear reason or a love reason?
- If I were to remove the ‘shoulds’ from my life, (meaning if there were no one telling me I should do this and there was no one I was worried about disappointing or hurting if I didn’t) would I choose to do each of these things anyway?
- Why or why not?
I’m not suggesting that you disregard what’s right and wrong, or the laws or the needs of others. Those things are definitely still in effect, but for the purpose of this exercise, which is to get to the heart of you and your own motivations, you get to look past those things for just a minute, and find the Love reason rather than a Fear reason. We get to keep doing what is right even if we can only find a fear reason to do it for now. I am not saying if you don’t feel it don’t do it, if it’s your responsibility. But the sooner you find your own reason, love your choice, and remove the nonessentials (things that aren’t moral imperatives and aren’t there for a Love reason), you’ll be a lot more joyful, free, inspirational, and connected to who you really are.
So the next questions I want you to ask yourself are:
- What would I LOVE to do that I’m not doing?
- Why am I not doing them?
- What do I love to do that I am doing?
- Why do I love it?
(There might be things that you still don’t feel you LOVE doing, but that you are consciously choosing because they help you to create something that you want/love. This is still a love reason.)
Last Questions:
- Who do I love?
- What do I do because I love them? (Make sure to include yourself, your community, the generations that will come after you, and God/your higher power)
As you identify the essentials that you feel led to do out of love and not fear, and focus on the loving reason behind them, your daily actions will become more powerful and you will be able to live a life of Love and Joy.
Alysia Humphries