I’ve been thinking a lot about freedom lately. I once saw a beautiful grandfather clock, in the home of a friend, that had Norman Rockwell’s “Four Freedoms” art around the face of it. “Freedom from Fear” stood out to me the most. It shows a mother and father tucking their children into bed. I suppose it was the circumstances I found myself in during that time. I was in this friend’s home for sick leave I had taken while serving a mission for my church. The idea of someone tucking me in and watching over me seemed a remote possibility and I longed for it.
My friend’s family had graciously taken me in for an undetermined period of time and the environment was very unfamiliar, which is what I had wanted. I knew I needed different I just didn’t know what that meant. My body was done supporting the battle in my mind and the detachment I felt from it was scary! I was ignorant of what would work to bring me to a healthy mind set and in that ignorance I made the decision to be open to whatever came my way.
This began my journey of learning about the mind/body connection. I went to various practitioners, medical doctors, counselors and literature. I felt driven to understand, I feared my own ignorance. In the process I often became overwhelmed by all the information I was wading through, and at times felt even more confused and frustrated than before I had started. Through it all I begged, pleaded and bargained with God to just take it all away.
I would go in cycles seeming to find something that worked for a while “Finally this is it, I just know it!” and then I would find myself even lower than before. So many of the books I read kept suggesting the answer was in accepting that I dealt with depression and it would be a life long condition I could never really overcome, that I was doomed to live a subpar existence, on medications that caused me insufferable side effects and eventually stopped producing any benefits. For me this didn’t feel right, something inside me knew there was more to the paradigm.
During my search for answers I married, miscarried twice, struggled through a difficult pregnancy and gave birth to a daughter we named Hope (my living namesake of the hope which somehow always surfaced). The joy that came with motherhood was interspersed with postpartum depression that created a fear in me I hadn’t known before. I was now responsible for another person so I had better “snap out of it”. In many ways motherhood did help me pull out of depression, because I was caught up in the joy of serving this beautiful little person God had entrusted to me. But the underlying cause was still not addressed and my body knew it was simply a matter of time.
I struggled with other “more obvious” health issues such as asthma and pneumonia, before I really started to pay attention again to how my body was affected by what was going on in my mind. I had gone through school before and during my first year of marriage, taking over 800 credit hours on subjects surrounding the body and the effects of stress so I was no longer able to plead ignorance. What was I missing?
It took 7 moves, 2 more children and 10 more years of fighting inside my mind before I really got it. There are laws of thought and laws of health that simply cannot be violated without the consequences I was suffering! I began to learn in depth about these areas of law and finally recognized the freedom from ignorance I desperately yearned for was not to be had in this life. I would always be in need of new knowledge, information and wisdom. The beautiful part was I knew where I could go to obtain it, and realized I hadn’t really BELIEVED God would impart to me in the way I needed it when I needed it.
It was true perspective that I lacked.”What we truly believe truly matters. Beliefs and behavior are linked and incorrect principles produce varying measures of mortal misery.” Neal A. Maxwell. It wasn’t that true principles and doctrine weren’t before me, it was what I believed about those doctrines and principles that created my results.
“If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.” James 1:5-6 (KJV).
As I have truly surrendered to the revelation that God has a plan for me and I must learn to trust Him, which includes learning to trust myself, pure knowledge has come flooding into my mind overcoming my false beliefs. Mentors have come into my life whose purpose and vision are evidence for me to continue forward with what He sets before me, learning how to co-create with Him. I’ve been challenged in ways I never expected to be and I’ve chosen to let go of other people’s ideas about who I am and what I am to do. Thankfully the process has brought me freedom…
I now think about how the Norman Rockwell art “Freedom from Fear” affected me and see why it’s so significant that he chose parents nurturing their child. True freedom of any kind is only found through the relationship I have with God as His child. A parent who nurtures me with His all knowing guidance, challenging me to strip away every falsehood in every form. “And ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.”
That is the kind of freedom I long for now…even if it means, for now, that I’m ignorant about so many things.
About Amy Oliver
Amy’s own struggles with health have led to her becoming a Professional Health coach. With almost 20 years of studying the laws of health and over 800 hours of education, she is now creating programs and resources for others. Using brain based science tools and web based technology, she coaches others to live their optimal health by discovering and implementing what works for them. Her passion for this work comes closely behind being a devoted wife and mother of 3 children.You can attend a FREE webinar and health coaching demonstration by contacting Amy for your unique link healthcoachamy@gmail.com or visiting her website livinghealthcoach.com. You can also tour her Virtual Coaching Office healthcoachingu.com for more information.